Making a Difference

This is actually what I wrote for my exemplar for my evaluation, but I just thought I'd post it just to show how God uses us and works in so many ways, when we don't even know it. God is working so much in my life right now and I'm just so excited about it!! He is showing me who He is and what life is really about more and more each day. I just encourage everyone who reads this to open up your hearts to Him and let Him work in your life.

Recently I had the opportunity to care for Mrs. W, a forty-eight year old woman with multiple sclerosis. She had been fighting this disease for eighteen years and had come to the point that she was no longer able to do many activities of daily living that she once had. Her husband was extremely dedicated to her and wanted more than anything for her to have the quality of care that she deserved. This admission to the hospital they thought was going to be one of which had become quite routine to the family, as she was frequently hospitalized for urinary tract infections. However, within a day of being in the hospital, it appeared that this time was going to be different. Mrs. W had become quite ill with urosepsis and was brought to the MICU to be cared for. Although she was receiving very aggressive treatment, her frail body failed to respond. She became unresponsive and required a BIPAP machine to help with her breathing. Her physician met with the family and told them that at this point, he did not know if she would improve or not. After receiving report for the day, I went in to meet Mrs. W and her family. As expected, she remained unresponsive. Her husband had been by her side for days now, and it was easy to see his dedication to his wife. He wanted to be very involved in her care and was extremely appreciative of all that we were doing for her. He showed such a testament of his devotion as he eagerly helped me turn her, clean her mouth out, and perform other basic nursing duties. Throughout the day, her condition remained unchanged. I left that day knowing that this family would probably have a very difficult future in store for them.

Several days later, I was visiting my grandmother and she mentioned that her neighbor who had MS had been admitted to the MICU and passed away a couple of days later. I knew that my grandmother had a neighbor with MS, but did not know her name. She told me her name, and it dawned on me that she was my patient that I had been caring for. Without breaking confidentiality I mentioned to her that I had indeed cared for her in the hospital and that I was so sad to hear that she had passed away.The next week when I went back to visit my grandmother again she explained to me that she had told Mr. W who I was. His response to her was one that made me truly realize that what I do everyday as a nurse really does have an impact on others much more than I may know at the time. He showed such appreciation and gratitude towards not only myself, but to each nurse on the unit. As my grandmother explained to me what an impact the nursing staff had on him and his family, tears flooded my eyes as I realized what nursing is really all about. My grandmother told me that he could not say enough good things about not only the quality of care that his wife received, but also the emotional support that was poured out to him during this incredibly difficult time.

Through this circumstance, I was reminded to always give my best to each patient and their family. What we do each day really does make a difference in the lives of others, and we need to take advantage of each opportunity to show others the love that we have in our heart. As nurses, we have such a unique opportunity to minister to our patients and their families in their most vulnerable times. By doing so, not only are we a blessing to them, but we receive a blessing back in return.

Change...

Well, the past couple of weeks have been ones where I have thought about change a lot and have made some important decisions for my future. In my last post I talked about how this summer has been quite interesting in the fact that I have hopefully determined what direction I want to take in my nursing career. What I failed to mention at the time of that post is that I knew I was less than a day away from putting in my resignation for the MICU to take a Fri/Sun baylor job on GMU. I have learned that sometimes in life you have to take a risk and do something that you normally wouldn't do in normal circumstances (like leave a job I just started), if you truly think it is for the best. This is the case sometimes, no matter what some people may think or say about your situation and/or decision. There is so much that I don't know about my life, but among the few things I do know for sure, the following are included.

The first is that through this summer, I have realized how much I truly love nursing (this is something I truly questioned that I would ever be able to say) especially med-surg nursing (another thing that I seriously didn't think I'd ever say). But here goes- I have a brand new love for med-surg nursing! I miss it! I have such a new appreciation for it as a specialty, b/c that is what it is truly.

Secondly, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that when God blesses Chris and I with a baby, I want to stay home as much as I possibly can. I also know that realistically I have to work full time (or at least get paid for full time!)

So based upon those two facts that I know, and after a lot of praying, thinking, talking about my options, I am truly happy to say that I am so blessed to have the opportunity to work baylor on GMU. It is also very important to say that I genuinely feel awful for leaving the MICU after such a short period of time.

To my friends on the MICU...I want you to know how much I have truly enjoyed working with you and learning from you. You guys are AWESOME- awesome people and awesome nurses. You are great at what you do and you take care of your patients with such passion. It has truly been a priviledge to work with all of you. I also have such a brand new appreciation for YOU! Critical care is scary!! and hard and you guys are great at it. I really hope that you all understand the decision that I have made.

To my friends on GMU...I am so excited to come work with you. My experience with you all so far this summer has been great. You have a wonderful unit and I can't wait to officially be apart of it. I just can't say enough how blessed I feel for getting this position. Thank you all.

Wow...

Wow... It has been quite a long time since my last attempt to explore my creative ability through a blog, haha. I would like to start using this blog as a place for me to sort out my thoughts and even vent out my frustrations. Also to update whoever may care about what is going on in my life right now.

Right now I'm doing pretty much my favorite thing to do in life... relax on the couch with Chris!! It is so nice to have a day to do absolutely nothing. Of course, there is plenty I should be doing including some housework among other less interesting things. But oh well, while Chris is taking a nice nap next to me, I thought I would take this opportunity to just write a little.

For those of you that I haven't kept in touch with as well as I should have, this has been quite an exciting and exhausting summer for us. We started it off with an awesome trip to Disney World with Marisa and Scott. We had a great week just spending time with them and relaxing. Then a few days later I started a new job on the MICU at work. I have had the opportunity to learn so much and get to know so many incredible people in the last few months there. I have also had the chance to appreciate the different kinds of nursing that are out there and get a feel for what I really love about nursing and what I don't love quite as much. It has broadened my perspective about nursing and given me quite a peace about where I want to go with my career, of which I wasn't quite sure about before I started.

Not long after starting the new job, Chris and I moved out of our tiny 1 bedroom apartment and into our new townhouse!! That itself is a huge accomplishment for us, it seemed as if we were never going to buy a home there for awhile! Well, it finally happened. Thanks to our awesome family we were able to get everything moved within one day!! We absolutely love our new place and are so happy that God has blessed us with it. Our little Tinkerbell loves it also, especially standing up and looking out the huge front windows to keep an eye on our neighbors. Our basement is still a huge mess of stuff that I have yet to have the motivation to organize, but I'm sure the time is coming, sooner or later.

Well, now that fall is here, the main thing on our mind is our annual trip to Myrtle Beach next month! We are so excited about it. I am so ready for fall weather as well. We made a special trip to the mall yesterday so I could go in the Yankee candle place and buy a Pumpkin Spice candle just to help get me in the mood. I can't wait!!

To Live, To Love, and To Learn

Throughout my life, I have done quite a bit of living, loving, and learning. To me, these are all basic parts of life that everyone does at some point in time in different ways, times, and degrees. What does it actually mean to live? Does it mean to simply be breathing and have your heart pumping...yes, but being alive to me is also so much more. To me it means to be able to feel the freedom that we often take advantage of everyday, it means we are able to take a deep breath of fresh air and enjoy the little things like the birds singing, the smell of wild flowers, and hearing the rain fall. It is the ability to feel emotions like no other being. It is the gift that God has given us to be able to love.
We live in a life that is full of things that we say we love. Love is such a strong, yet overused word. Sure it is okay to love, I say I love a lot of things, like the shirt I wore today or a picture on the wall. But do I really love them or do I just like them? I am lucky enough to be able to say that I do have true love in my life. First of all, thanks to the love that God has given me, I have learned and am still learning how to truly love. I really try to put God first on my love list, where He belongs, but regretfully that does not always happen. But I'm also lucky enough to know that I am forgiven as long as I am constantly trying to do that. I have been so blessed in my life by being born into a family that loved me and showed me what it meant to be loved and to give love. I truly love each member of my family so much and only hope that they feel as loved as I do. My husband...I never knew what it meant to truly love someone in such a passionate way until I fell in love with my husband. I have learned the true meaning of soulmate over the past seven years. Not only is our love wonderfully romantic, it is much more than that...it is an indescribable bond that anyone would be incredibly blessed to experience for even just a few minutes. He is my best friend. I have also been blessed to have developed very special relationships with some of my closest friends. I have the opportunity to share my life with them and they share their life with me. Through each of these relationships, I have grown in different ways. Each person that is significant in my life has touched me different ways and has hopefully made me a better person.
There is so much to learn about life. I think I have learned the most important part already... that as long as I love Jesus and trust and obey in Him, in the end nothing else really matters. It is my job to hopefully teach others that same thing so that they may have the peace that I strive for. However, it is not always that easy. It is a constant struggle to achieve that peace. The hard part is to trust God so much that you know that even if things don't go the way you think they should, it is still the way that God has planned and in the end I will be better off, and hopefully someone else will be also. Trusting God can be a very hard thing to learn. I trust my husband with all of my heart. Not to say that I trust him more than God. I know that if I did that it would not logically make sense, since my husband is only human and is fallible. Then why is it easier sometimes to trust a mere human so easily and have difficulty completely trusting your Creator? Is it because I am afraid of what my future may hold? This is one thing I am continuing to learn everyday of my life. I know there will be a day when I can enjoy complete peace...I think I am almost there :)